Aging and Dying in a Village in Papua New Guinea: Lessons

My grandfather died this past September in his village (Biwat) on the Yuat River in East Sepik Province in Papua New Guinea. He was an old man; probably in his early 80′s. His exact birthdate isn’t on any official record.

Growing up in Canada did not allow for much opportunity to get to know him although I will cherish the little time I got to spend with him in the village at 4, 21, and 26 years old. I learned how independent he remained as an elder with the support of the family and community. I know he lived and died with dignity, respect, and love; the very same characteristics Canadians want their elderly to experience as they age and die. Witnessing his care and relationships had a profound effect on my outlook and perspective on seniors housing and care in Canada.

Housing. My grandfather had a small house in the village right next to my uncle’s larger family house, built just for him. A cousin of mine had a bed and slept in my grandfather’s house to ensure he was well through the night. Every morning, my grandfather would make his own fire on his porch where he would brew his coffee and light his tobacco. I sat with him a few mornings and he would tell me stories in pidgin (tok pisin) about interactions with Japanese troops during WWII when they were occupying parts of Papua New Guinea (often about violence inflicted), his concerns about young family members and their schooling, and his grief at the recent loss of his youngest daughter.

Health. He had cataracts and walked at a slower pace with a long wooden walking stick. He still bathed on his own in the fast-flowing deep river always with distant watchful eyes ensuring he was ok. He would even duck his head under the water a little longer than usual to make sure people were looking out for him when he popped his head back out. He described to me his occasional lower back pain from a fall on some rocks a few years previous and his frequent headaches.

My 80 year-old grandfather demonstrated his use of a narrow piece of cloth tied tight around his head.  “It relieves the pressure” he told me with a grin on his face, looking like a tiny elder ninja. This seemed to be the extent of his pain management at the time.

Generational interaction. The village my mother grew up in is teeming with life; from the river and thick jungle to the many children running around and playing. Interaction between the elderly and young children is the norm and part of everyday life. If the old man needed something; food, a knife, tobacco, anything, he’d often ask one of the children. They would always respond immediately and respectfully grant his request.

My grandfather was a wonderful storyteller with a teasing sense of humour and would regularly make the children and adults alike howl with laughter. Day-to-day interaction between a number of generations in the village was nothing like anything I had ever experienced or witnessed in Canada.

Cultural attitude towards aging. Aging and death seem so much more natural and respected in my mother’s village in Papua New Guinea. Family and community look out for one another. Elders aren’t prescribed numerous “necessary” prescriptions and sometimes sedated to be more manageable in congregate living settings such as assisted living or long-term care. North American society seems to fight aging and death at all costs. Many baby boomers do not and will not consider themselves “old”. No wonder ageism and elder abuse are becoming increasingly harmful problems. Being “old” is perceived so negatively.

We received word that my grandfather’s health began deteriorating a number of weeks before he died. As he became more unwell over the weeks, more family arrived to care for him as he went through his dying process. He passed naturally with dignity, respect, and surrounded by those who loved him dearly.

While acknowledging that culture and society in a tiny village in Papua New Guinea is different from Vancouver, Edmonton, Toronto, or my hometown of St. Paul, AB, I stress the importance of taking lessons about the treatment of the elderly that have implications everywhere.

1. The promotion and support for independence
2. The passing down of history, lessons, and experience of a previous generation
3. The importance of generational interaction and respect for the elderly
4. The need to re-examine the over-medication of the elderly
5. The importance of community and family networks for safety and security
6. The need to examine North American culturally negative attitudes about the elderly and the aging process

And probably my favorite perspective change was related to seniors housing and care over-regulation becoming a barrier to personal choice and independence.

The elderly are not children. To treat them as such is disrespectful. The elderly teach children. Community, love, family involvement, and respect are imperative in graceful aging and dignified death.

This article was originally posted on September 12, 2011 at www.linahoffbauer.com

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